by Ana Mepham
I have found lately when having a conversation with someone struggling with something emotional it goes a bit like this, ill ask them how they are doing? They know immediately its a sincere question and I am being genuine, also that its a safe space and opening up is good. They will start to say they are grand, a little stressed. Then they discuss what ever situation is weighing on them. It could be something like the car is playing up and costing a lot of money to fix. Or it could be something like for example my family member, loved one, etc is sick and it could be terminal. These are two very different things but still stressful problems that are effecting said person. No mater how small or big. The next thing that happens is they go on to say “but sure look, there are plenty others out there that have it worse, it'll be grand.” There is definitely an element of which comparing is healthy and good but there is also an element of which comparing can be unhealthy and cause imbalance.
Don't get me wrong I can see how this can work as a coping mechanism to avoid getting upset, being seen as weak or perhaps just to full on avoid the emotions. As we all know everything in life can be avoided up to a point but then it really is important to not compare and just “say it, how it is!”.
Saying it how it is shows courage and expressing emotions shows strengths. Its all a proses in which we should allow to flow instead of justifying our emotions by comparing and actually not dealing with these feelings.
Just say it! Say it how it is and let it be. No shame, no second guessing, don’t doubt yourself. The voice in your head can only stay in there for so long. You need to release this emotion and not feel like once you have said it you should compare it. This is your situation, no one else s. Yes we can all relate to emotions but you are currently in this and you are allowed to feel the way you are.